What is Love?
by 6felikspolska9
Summary: Matthew becomes friends with a new boy at school, Gilbert, later realizing he harbors more than just friendship towards the other boy. When Gil gets drunk and ends up hurting Matthew, does he actually forgive him? Or is it just a case of Stockholm Syndrome? Pairings include PruCan so far, will probably put in more later. Warnings: rape in later chapters, lemons, alcoholicness.
1. Dear Diary

_11/14/08_

_Today I met a boy who's new to our school. His name is Gilbert (He's got hair and eyes that are a weird color, like mine!) and he just transferred here from Germany along with his younger brother, Ludwig. I like him. I think we could be good friends, so I'm going to ask him tomorrow if he wants to be my friend... I hope he will, he seemed like the type that'll have a bunch of friends, not the type that'd hang out with someone like me... Well there's no harm in trying, eh? So luck be with me I guess._

_11/15/08_

_I'm so happy! I asked Gil today if he'd be my friend and, not only did he notice my existence, he said yes! Then we hung out at lunch and he didn't even think Kumabingo was strange! I'm so excited for tomorrow just to hang out with him again, I really think this'll be a great friendship!_

_11/18/08_

_Alfred was being a dick today. He said I shouldn't be carrying around a polar bear everywhere i go since I'm in ninth grade. Gil stood up to him for me. It made me really happy. I felt... kind of weird after that. I don't really know how to describe it. Whatever. It was probably nothing anyways._

_12/5/08_

_Sorry I haven't entered anything in a while, I've been out doing stuff, you know? Anyways, I'm so excited, it's getting close to Christmas! Gil said he'd take me out for an epic night with him and his friends on Christmas Eve and we'd celebrate. I wonder where we're going? Anyways, Gil is already sixteen, so he can drive us around, he's turning seventeen in January. He's quite a bit older than me at fourteen, but we still get along really well. I'm happy that he accepts me bringing Kuma pretty much everywhere with us. One other thing... I'm starting to feel kind of weird around him, I wonder... Do I love him? Eheheh... He'd probably think I'm weird if I ever told him and it'd ruin our friendship... So I think I'll keep it to myself._

_12/7/08_

_Today I made a new friend! His name is Ivan and he has a nice scarf. His older sister is my teacher, but I've never met him before because he's home-schooled. His eyes are the same kind of purple-ish color as mine which is really cool._

_12/14/08_

_Ivan and I went out and played in the snow today! Everything was all white and Gilbert showed up at my house, so the three of us had a snowball fight. Ivan won. He's really good with snow and Gilbert watched us make a snowman together while he built a snow-fort. Gil left after that, but it's strange... I invited Ivan inside for hot-chocolate later and I could swear I saw Gil just for a moment, still outside my house. It must have just been my imagination though, because he had left an hour before._

_12/23/08_

_Tomorrow's Christmas Eve, and I'm feeling... conflicted. Gilbert's friends got us all fake ID's and planned to go out to this bar that's a little on the shady side apparently. They won't look too hard at your ID, but they also won't pay much attention if anything bad happens because they don't wan officials swarming the place... I'm sure Gil will protect me though. I still wonder how good of an idea this is. I'm going to leave Kumamano home because i don't want him to get torn or something. I would be really sad if something happened to him._

* * *

**Okay. So. Epilogue. I just you know, came up with idea and I had to put it down on paper so... if it's not horrible or anything reviews would be highly appreciated! Any flamers will be tracked down and I will sell them to the Russians.**


	2. Worst Christmas Eve Ever

"Hey, Gil, wait up!" I slammed the passenger side door shut and sprinted across the parking lot until i was even with him. He had waited for me.

You're such a slowpoke, Mattie." he laughed.

I slugged him on the arm jokingly as we walked towards the bar's front door. I would never show it, but I was really nervous. I had always been a bit of a rule follower, never really being the rebellious type. And now, here I was, walking into a bar. I wanted to go home. "Hey, Gil..." I said, but he had already gone inside. I held my breath like it would do something and pushed the door open. The smell of alcohol wafted past me and I could hear people laughing inside. The lighting was dim and the place seemed kind of homely, were it not for the raving drunkards and alcoholics spending their Christmas Eve alone and drowning their misery in beer. I felt like they were all watching me as I walked inside. I was fourteen. I didn't even look _close_ to twenty-one. I caught up to Gil and we both slid into a booth with his friends.

"You ever had beer before, Mattie?" one asked me.

"Only my friends call me Mattie." I muttered.

"Oh come on, we're friends, right?"

"I don't even know your name..."

"Whatever. So, have you ever had beer before?"

"Um... No, I haven't..." I silently cursed myself for letting my voice waver, I didn't want to look weak in front of Gil. "Have you drunk before, Gil?" I asked, attempting to turn the attention away from myself.

"Kesese. Of course I have! I'm from Germany after all, my parents let me drink beer once a year at Oktoberfest and they have a stash at our house year round. They don't know I know about it. Ludwig knows I take stuff from it, but we have an agreement; he doesn't tell Mutti and Vati that I take their beer, I don't tell them about his BDSM collection." Everyone started laughing, including me, though I don't exactly get why. Maybe it was the happy smile Gil got whenever somebody laughed at his jokes. I liked it. I liked to think he smiled especially wide for me, but it was just my imagination again. It would always be my imagination.

"Guess I'm alone in the 'first time drinker' category then." I giggled.

"Hey!" One of Gil's friends exclaimed, "Let's have a drinking contest!"

"I don't really-" I began, but he cut me off.

"Come on, it'll be fun!" I nodded slowly and he grinned. "Epic. Hey you, sexy waitress over there!" He ordered a few bottles of Coors Light for us and got us each one shot glass. The point was to go around the table and each person takes a drink until they couldn't anymore. I went first, staring dubiously at the glass in front of me and Gil filled it.

"Go on, Mattie!" I sighed and down the glass in one big gulp. I shuddered slightly and it went down my throat, I wasn't big on the taste. I knew at that moment that I would fail miserably. And I did. All the others easily made ten without flinching, while I had to drop out at three already feel slightly woozy. Gil was going on fifteen, then twenty, twenty-three, the alcohol didn't seem to faze him at all. I felt oddly proud to be his friend at the moment for some reason. My heart fluttered at the confident look on his face, he looked so ho- stop. Just stop thinking that stuff about your friend! I pushed the feeling away and turned my attention back to the contest, Gil gave in around thirty-five or so. He laughed at some joke I'd missed. He seemed to be having fun with his friends and didn't seem to notice that I wasn't. I didn't want to ruin their time though, so I pretended to laugh along with them.

I excused myself to go to the bathroom and sat in a stall, trying to stop myself from crying. It looked like I was just a part of the background again, even to the person I cared about most. I wished I had brought Kumalina, just to hold him. I needed something to hold at the moment, just to keep it together. I left the stall and went up to the sink, splashing some water on my face to get rid of the traces of tears on my cheeks. I heard the door opened and looked up, I could see Gilbert standing behind me in the mirror. "What's up, Gil?" I asked.

"I really like you, Matthew." I felt my cheeks heat up and I turned around to face him.

"Wh-wha...?" I stuttered as he walked towards me. He was stumbling. I think he was drunk.

"Would you go out with me?"

"I-I-I don't..." I heard giggling outside the door and my heart snapped. It was a joke. They'd probably dared him to do it, and he'd probably agreed cause he'd had too much to drink. He didn't really like me. It was just a cruel prank. I felt tears prick at the corners of my eyes and I shoved angrily past Gilbert and out of the bathroom. I think I hit one of the guys in the face with the door. I hope the crack I heard was his nose breaking. "You're all fucking shitheads!" I called over my shoulder as I ran out the front door into the parking-lot. I reached Gil's car and angrily fumbled around in my pocket for the keys to get inside and lock Gil out before remembering that Gil was the one who had the keys in the first place. I debated over walking home, but didn't feel it was worth the effort, so I slumped down on the asphalt next to the car. I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my forehead on them. Some Christmas Eve this was turning out to be.

I looked up at the sound of a bell going off. It rang eleven times. I pulled out my phone and checked the time. 11pm. December 24th.

* * *

**So. Chapter two. I'm happy with it. Yes. Yes I am. Anyways, warning the next chapter has non-con in it... so yeah. I am supposedly required to say that or something. I don't even know. Reviews are appreciated and flamers will be tracked down and sold to the Russians. X3**


	3. I Still Love You

I looked up when I heard footsteps and saw Gilbert walking towards me. His stride still wavered a bit, so I assumed he was still drunk. I pulled out my phone and was startled when I saw that it was 11:30. I didn't realized I'd been outside for so long. Now that I was paying attention, I realized I was freezing.

"W-W-What d-do you w-want?" I stuttered, my teeth chattering madly. I clamped my jaw shut and tried to stop myself from shaking.

"Here." I felt something drape over my shoulders and I looked up again. Gil was standing with his arms crossed, not wearing a jacket. I reached up to my shoulder and felt the fabric. It was Gil's jacket. He sat down next to me and hugged me. He was really warm. "I'm sorry, Mattie, that was really immature of me and I shouldn't have done something like that." His words sounded as though he were having a hard time pronouncing them, but I could tell he meant it, or at least I'm pretty sure he did. He stood back up and offered his hand to me. "No one deserves to spend Christmas Eve alone." I smiled slightly and took his hand. He pulled me to my feet and led me back towards the bar. He didn't let go of my hand. Just that little gesture made my heart warm up a bit.

We passed the door. "Hey... Gil? That was the door." I said, staring behind us. His grip tightened on my hand. "Look, do you want any help? You're shivering. Maybe I should-Gil... You're hurting my hand..." I tried to pull away, but his hand was like a vise-grip and I couldn't make him let go. I didn't notice that we'd been still walking until we suddenly stopped and Gil flipped me around, shoving me against the wall. I struggled, but he held my face to the wall with one hand and pinned my arm behind me with the other, holding me in place. "G-Gilbert?"

"Don't pretend like you care about me. I've seen the way you look at him." He growled.

"Eh? I don't know what you're talking about, let me go! You're hurting me!"

"Don't fuck with me! You know exactly what I'm talking about!"

"I-I really d-don't!" I cried, my cheek was bleeding where it was pressed against the stone.

"Ivan! You like him, right?" He pressed harder and I could almost feeling my ribs bending under the strain.

"Gil... sto...p..." I gasped.

"You two are always hanging out now and it's fucking killing me! You're just leaving me behind for... for _him_. Why would you do that to me? Do you not like me anymore? Because..." Gilbert's hands relaxed a bit and I took in a deep breath. "Because I love you Matthew." My eyes widened at the statement and I opened my mouth to say something, but he interrupted me. "I guess I was a fool for ever thinking you liked me back. You've probably been letting that Russian bastard fuck you this whole time. I bet he's a good lay, right? But guess what?" he leaned in to whisper in my ear, "I can prove to you I'm better." I could still smell the alcohol on his breath.

"Gil... you're drunk... you don't really want to do this..." I pleaded.

"Actually, I've wanted to do this for a very long time." He tightened his grip again and kept one hand on my arm while sliding the other up under my shirt. I struggled to escape, but I wasn't strong enough. I whimpered as he groped my chest and twisted my nipples. He nipped lightly at my ear and i felt my face go scarlet as he accidentally brushed my curl. "Ah. That's interesting." He chuckled and took the curl into his mouth. I moaned loudly before clamping my mouth shut, but he had heard. "Oh, enjoying this, are we?" I shook my head quickly. "Well _this_ tells a different story..." He cupped his hand over my crotch and I squeaked at the feeling.

"Gil..." I closed my eyes and tried to not think about what was happening. He let go of my arm, but before I could bolt he pulled my shirt over my head and shoved me over. I hit the ground hard with a thud and saw my glasses skitter away across the concrete. "Ow." I muttered, rubbing my head. I shakily started to get up, before Gil shoved me back down again. He pulled my mouth open and shoved the shirt in, tying the ends in the back of my head as an improvised gag.

I tried to scream, but Gil grabbed my throat and growled, "If you make too much noise this won't end well for you." I gulped and stared at Gil, eyes wide with fear of my former friend. His eyes were dark and unfocused, my only consolation was that he was drunk. It had to be that. He wouldn't do this is he were sober...right? I felt tears streaming from my eyes. Why was this happening? What did I do to deserve this? Gilbert held my hands over my head with one hand and with the other he began unbuttoning my jeans. My body was jerking with the force of my sobs, I couldn't stop crying.

Somebody, Alfred, Dad, anybody, save me, please!

I pressed my legs together and he yanked my jeans down and pulled off my underwear, trying futilely to cover myself up. Gilbert pried my legs apart and knelt between them. I couldn't close my legs, leaving myself completely vulnerable. Stop... please stop... I pretended I was holding Kuma in my mind. He always calmed me down. Kumajiro. That was his name. Why could I never remember it? I felt queasy.

"Are you ready, Mattie?" When did Gilbert take off his pants? I don't remember that. Where... where's Kuma? I blinked and shook my head. "Too bad then." I felt something probing around my entrance, then, slowly, it pushed it's way inside of me. I arched my back and screamed in agony. He didn't get in very far. He pulled back out and I slumped to the ground, breathing hard. "Damn, you're tight. I guess I'll have to prepare you after all." He shoved three fingers inside of me at once and I cried out, it hurt, but not nearly as much as the firs part. Was that... was he going to do it again? I don't think I could take that again. He thrust his fingers in and out of me at a fast pace and my face went pale when he removed them. They were covered in blood. He grabbed my legs and put them on his shoulders, then grabbed my hips so I couldn't move away. I could see him aligning himself with my entrance and I started to hyperventilate. He was positioning his...his manhood to shove inside of me, it must have been at least the size of a fist, maybe two.

"Th-that w-w-won't fit!" I exclaimed through the gag. He either didn't hear me or he didn't care. Probably the latter. He slowly started to push himself inside of me, digging his fingers harshly into my hips. He made it all the way inside of me this time. I was screaming and crying, trying to squirm away. I made it until only his tip was in me before he rammed himself back into me. I shrieked and dug my nails into my palms, I could feel blood on my hands.

"Ngh... You don't even know how good this feels..." Gilbert, no... the monster that had taken over his body, moaned. I held my hands over my eyes and sobbed into them. "Hey... don't hnn~ don't do that now..." He breathed, pulling my arms away roughly. "I want to see... your face..." I leaned my head back against the ground, wishing I could just go numb and get this over with. It hurt. It hurt so much. Light flooded the alleyway and I turned my head towards the wall of the small alley. The back door to the bar was open. I felt my heart soar, there was a person... and they would save me... the employee just turned his head away and emptied a bag into the trashbin before walking back inside and shutting the door. I felt like there was a stone in my chest. "Remember, Mattie? They don't care..." '_It's a kind of shady place. They won't check your ID too closely, but they don't want cops around either, so they will ignore any problems.'_ His thrusts became erratic and finally I felt something fill me up, Gilbert collapsed on top of me and sighed into my neck. "Now you belong to me, not that Russian commie." I lay with my arms spread out to either side, staring up at nothing. I... I can't believe that just happened. I just...

I heard quiet breathing and I saw that Gil had fallen unconscious. All the beer must have finally caught up to him. A little too late. I shifted out from under him and flinched at the squelching noise made when I pulled off of him. I could feel warm liquids running down my legs and I looked down to see a mixture of blood and come on the ground. I shakily used my shirt to wipe myself off and pulled on my jeans, flinching at the pain in my ass. I put on my jacket and zipped it all the way up, then sat on the ground next the the sleeping Gil. His face looked so peaceful, not at all like the monster that had been there only a few minutes ago. I heard a bell ringing in the distance. Twelve times. Twelve O'Clock, Christmas morning. I buried my face in Gilbert's chest and muttered, "Merry Christmas, Gil." I lifted his sleeping figure and pulled on his pants, he'd never removed his shirt. I put his jacket back on him, then collapsed next to him again. "I can't... why can't I be angry at you?" I sighed, "How do I still love you?" I stood up and grabbed Gilbert's arms, proceeding to drag him across the ground. I was limping. I'm pretty sure I was still bleeding, but I kept pulling him until we reached the car. I found the keys and unlocked the driver's side door. I pushed Gil up into the driver's seat and closed the door again. I realized that I'd forgotten my glasses, but figured they were probably ruined anyways, so I left them behind. I walked around the front of the car and climbed into the passenger side door, closing it behind me. I turned on the car so it would start to warm up, then turned to Gilbert. I shook him gently, then a bit more forcefully. He woke with a start, then looked... afraid when he saw me.

"M-Mattie?" I nodded and he put his hands on my shoulders. "What happened to you, are you okay?" My eyes widened.

"Y-yeah I... I just tripped, that's all." I lied. Gilbert seemed relieved.

"Good. Ugh, I've got a major hangover... I can't remember anything that happened tonight..." My fake smile turned real. He didn't remember. Things could go on like they had been. Everything would be alright now. "Oh, what time is it?"

"About twelve twenty." I replied.

"Close enough." he shrugged and kissed my forehead. "There. I officially stole your Christmas kiss." he grinned and laughed at me.

I grinned back. "Merry Christmas, Gilbert."

* * *

**In case this seems like it could be the end to any of you... it isn't. There will be more chapters up who knows when, but at some point this week. I'm not done with this yet so wish me luck! I love reviews and remember, all flamers will be sold to the Russians.**


	4. Trust

I lay in my bed and stared blankly up at the ceiling, a battle raging in my mind. What... Why was I keeping this a secret? I should tell somebody! But no, if I tell then Gilbert will get in big trouble and I don't want that for him... But he raped me! But he was drunk... he didn't mean to, he didn't even remember it afterwards, so no harm done, right? Not right! No! He hurt me! He took my virginity because of some petty jealousy! He wasn't even _right! _I don't love Ivan, we're just friends! But... I don't want Gil to get in trouble... To hell with that! He deserves to go to jail! Tell Alfred! Tell Dad! Hell, tell _anyone_ just tell _somebody!_ I shook my head to clear away the thoughts, it had been almost a week since the incident and I honestly just wanted to forget it had ever happened in the first place. Gil had been acting the same as always since that day and if I didn't he would get suspicious and ask why. I'm a horrible liar, so he would find out eventually, then everything would be ruined. I couldn't let that happen.

TELL SOMEONE!

SHUT UP! I pulled out my journal and opened it up. Here, I'll write about it. Does that make you happy? Will you leave me the fuck alone now? The voice was silent. Of course it would be silent. it's my mind. I control it. But then... why would I have ever thought that in the first place then?

I clutched Kumaunga tightly to my chest. My New Year's resolution... I'd never let anyone know what happened. Not my brother, not my dad, not Ivan, not anyone. Especially not Gil. I wrote down a bit in my journal and felt my chest tightening. I didn't notice I was crying until I saw the tear drops falling on the paper. I wrote one more line and closed the small book, sticking it back into my desk and locking the drawer. I guess it's a good thing no one notices me, or Alfred surely would have seen that I was missing my glasses by now. I suppose it's a good thing after all.

I walked down the stairs and pulled in my new jacket that I'd gotten from some cousin for Christmas. Ironic that the relatives I don't know are the ones that remember me. I didn't bother saying I was going out, they wouldn't remember I'd said anything anyways.

I left the house and walked through the quickly darkening streets. It was cold. I held Kumajiba close to myself as the streetlamps turned on. Maybe I shouldn't have come out this late... I thought. Every bush and shadow looked like a potential hiding place for some serial killer or another. I jumped back off the sidewalk when I heard a shriek in the bushes. A small black form darted out and left. I sighed. It had only been a cat. I heard the blaring horn a moment too late and I swiveled my head to see the oncoming car just before it hit me. Oddly enough, the last thought I had was wondering who's cat that was.

* * *

Someone was shaking me. I just wanted to sleep, so I tried to wave them off, but they wouldn't go. I cracked one eye open ad saw grass. The hell? I felt a hand stroking my hair and I opened my eyes all the way. Gil was sitting next to me, his hand on my head. I jerked away, afraid for a moment.

"Matthew, you're okay!" he exclaimed, his eyes lighting up.

"What am I doing here?" I asked. My voice was hoarse and my throat hurt. "What's going on?"

"I don't know, Mattie, I just found you lying here with a nasty bump on your head. You're bleeding pretty badly, I think we should call an ambulance."

"I'm fine!" I growled, "I don't need to go to the hospital! Anyways, why are you here?"

"Does it matter? I was driving home and I saw you lying in the ditch, you were practically frozen!" Gil's voice started to grow in volume until he was yelling. "Do you know how fucking scary that was? At first I thought you were dead!" I shrunk away from Gil and he calmed down a bit, "Hey, come on, Mattie, we really should take you to get your head examined, I think this must have been hit and run or something, something could be seriously wrong with you."

"I don't need a doctor!" I yelled, "We can't pay for it okay?!" Gil sat back on his haunches and stared at me sadly.

"But Mattie..."

"I'm FINE!" I was shaking at that point, my whole body ached, but I didn't want him to know. Suddenly, Gil leaned forward and started to take off my jacket. I shrieked in fear and pulled away from him. Gilbert knelt with his arms still outstretched.

"What's wrong, Matthew? You were shivering, so I was gonna give you my jacket, I was just taking off yours because mine won't fit over it." He looked confused.

"I-I, I thought you were trying to take my jacket for some reason, sorry, I'm just a little cold." I smiled weakly. Gil looked unconvinced, but didn't press the matter further. He took off my jacket and put his on me before placing mine on my shoulders again.

"Hey, Mattie..."

"Yeah?"

"What happened to your glasses?" My heart just about stopped. Oh God don't let him find out, please. "They must have been knocked off earlier. Sorry I haven't seen them." I nodded, taking the way out he offered me. I smiled at him as he helped me to my feet and led me to his car. I opened the passenger side door and froze. There were bloodstains on the seat. From that night. It scared me. "You okay, Mattie?" He came back around to my side of the car and followed my gaze to the bloodstains. "Well shit, how'd those get there..." Gilbert asked.

"I-I don't know..." I lied.

"Here, you can sit in the back if that's okay." I nodded and he opened the back door to let me climb in. He shut it behind me. My heart wouldn't stop pounding.

* * *

**Well then. Chapter four. I think that went well. Honestly I have ideas for the rest of the story but I have no guess as to how to get from point A to point B. So yeah. I guess we'll see how this ends up considering that. This was written at like one in the morning when I couldn't sleep so... yeah. Reviews are appreciated and remember, all flamers will be sold to the Russians! X3**


	5. A Day To Remember

_July 1st, 2009_

_Today's my birthday! I'm excited because I won't seem so much younger than Gil again, seventeen to fourteen is a bit much. Seventeen to fifteen is _much_ better. I wonder what stuff I'm gonna get? Oh well, guess I'll know soon. I'm really just writing this because I couldn't sleep and it's now four in thee morning, but I don't want to wake anybody up to ask if they actually remembered my presents this year._

* * *

"Happy birthday, Mattie!" I grinned at Gil as he handed me a present, my first one of the day. Alfred promised that he would go out to buy me a present later. I doubted it, but it was the thought that counted, right? I had left my house a while ago to meet Gil in the park and we were presently sitting on the ground underneath my favorite tree in the park, a big maple tree that you could climb up high enough to see the whole park. "Go on, open it!" I tore the wrapping off the small package and found an envelope with two tickets inside.

"What are these for?" I asked.

"I'm taking you to the fair stupid!" he exclaimed, hitting me on the head jokingly, "You're gonna have the best birthday ever!" He stood up and swiped the loose grass off his legs before extending his hand to me, "Come on, let's go!" I reached up and took his hand, he pulled me to my feet and we headed out of the park back to wherever Gil had parked his car. He was still holding my hand when we got there.

* * *

We pushed our way through the turnstiles as the security checked our bags, then waved us along. I headed out to the main pavilion with Gil following behind me. "How many tickets can we get?" I asked.

"We are't going to buy any tickets." Gil laughed.

"But... what about rides?" Gilbert pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to me. It was a wristband with 'All Day Pass' written on it. "You're so awesome, Gil!" I exclaimed. I gave him a hug, then bolted off to the line for the big roller coaster. I turned around and saw that he wasn't following. "You coming?" I called.

"Ah... roller coasters just aren't really my thing..."

"Nonsense! Come on!" I ran back over and grabbed his hand, dragging him back to the ride with me.

"Matthew, I really don't want-"

"Shut up and go on the ride with me." Gilbert sighed and allowed me to drag him along. When we finally reached the front of the line we showed our wrist bands and I pulled Gilbert with me to sit in the first car. "I'm so excited!" I exclaimed, pulling down the... thingy that keeps you in the car. Whatever the hell it was called. Gilbert was sitting frozen. "Gil, it won't be my best birthday ever if you fall out of the roller coaster and break something." Gilbert nodded quickly and pulled the thing down over his head.

"Is everybody strapped in?" the ride operator asked.

"Yes!" I chanted with everyone else.

"Then let's go." He hung up his mic and pressed the button to start the ride. We lurched forwards and I laughed as Gilbert clutched at the hand bar in front of him, his knuckles turning white. We started up the climb and he reached out to grab my hand. I smiled and didn't pull away even though he was probably crushing the bones in my hand. We reached the top of the rise.

"Ready, Gil?" I asked.

"No." We dropped over the edge and flew along the tracks, curving around and going through a loop-the-loop, Gilbert screaming and me laughing like a maniac the whole time. When the ride ended I stood up and helped Gil out of the ride.

"That wasn't so bad, right? No dying or puking, eh?"

"I'm never riding a roller coaster again." I giggled and Gil shot me a look.

"Whatever, want to go ride the turn-y things then?" I asked.

"Sure." I grinned and pulled him after me.

When we were done riding rides we went to the game booths and scanned around for the good prizes.

"Oh, Gil, look look look! That bear looks just like Kuma! I could win a friend for him for whenever I have to leave him behind! I'm gonna go win that bear!" Gil stood back a bit as I ran up to the stand with a bit of the money he had given me for games. It was a game where you tried to shoot out this whole star on a sheet of paper with one-hundred beebees in an fully automatic machine gun. I paid the man five dollars for one try and started shooting at the target. I'd never been really good with aim, so it wasn't much of a surprise when I failed by a long-shot. The polar bear stayed on the wall to wait for some other possible winner. I walked back over to Gil with slumped shoulders.

"You really want the bear, Mattie?" he asked.

"Yeah... but it's fine, really!" I replied.

"Then I'll win it for you!" Gil grinned cockily and walked over to the stand, payed his five dollars, and picked up the gun. "Watch this Mattie!" He shot at the target in short bursts of ammo, taking out first the center of the target, then moving delicately up the points and knocking out all of the red star. The man running the stand checked over the paper, then asked Gil what prize he wanted. He pointed to the polar bear and it was unhooked from the wall and handed to him. I squealed in joy as he walked back over to me, a triumphant air about him. "Here you go, Matthew, happy birthday!" I took the polar bear from him and happily held it to my chest.

"Thanks so much, Gil!" I nuzzled my face into the stuffed animal's fur, it was soft and felt new. We played some more games, but didn't really win anything else besides a pair of new ear-buds for my iPod. When we left though, he took a different route than the one that led to my house. I felt worried as we arrived back at the park.

"What are we doing here?" I asked, setting my new bear that I had deemed Canadia in the back seat.

"Come on, just get out. I promise it's an awesome surprise." I reluctantly unbuckled myself and climbed out of the car. We walked through the park as the sun got closer and closer to the horizon until we got to my favorite tree, the maple tree. "Climb up! Come on, Matthew, we've got to get to the top fast or your surprise will be ruined!" He started climbing, and I followed.

When we got near to the top, Gil stopped. We were at a forked branch with another one behind it, a bit higher, a perfect spot to sit. I smiled. We both settled into the branch and I saw that we were facing the western horizon, where the sun was setting. "You ready for your surprise, Mattie? It's almost time." I nodded, awestruck as the sun touched the horizon, a span of mountains. They turned a purple color, fading into a bright red near the tips, it was a beautiful sight. The sky itself was all different shades of pink and orange, a beautiful indigo color over our heads stretching into a dark blue behind us. I leaned my head on Gil's shoulder unconsciously as we watched the sunset, I was happy. He ruffled my hair and as soon as the colors faded he said, "Now look down."

I turned towards the ground and saw lights strewn across the ground, forming words. 'Matthew, will you go out with me?' I sat for a moment, unsure of what to say.

"So...?" Gil sounded nervous.

I turned to him, "Is this for real? It's not some kind of cruel joke?"

Gil's face fell. "So does that mean no?"

I pulled him into an embrace and exclaimed, "My answer is yes, I will go out with you!"

* * *

**So... I don't know what you guys think about this chapter. I liked it. It was fun to write. I hope you all like it. Anyways, always remember that reviews are appreciated and all flamers will be sold to the Russians!**


	6. Found Out

I picked up my backpack and rushed to get my car keys, holding a piece of toast in my mouth. I was late for the last day of school, That was something I couldn't afford to do. Good attendance helps with getting into a college over others with the same grade point average people say. I hope they're right, because I'd need a scholarship in order to ever get _close_ to college. I pulled out of the driveway and started on the drive to school. It would finally over today, juggling a job and school with my dad not being well and Alfred barely able to support himself, let alone me with his boss, Arthur, working him to the bone for way not enough, but Alfred refuses to quit. I don't know why.

I was happy to be graduating, but sad that Gil couldn't be there. He had headed off to college a year before and could only visit me during holidays. It was a kind of long distance relationship, but we made it work. I smiled to myself as I drove nearer to the school, after today I would have the qualifications for a _real_ job, no more of this minimum wage bull-shit. I could help Alfred pay for Dad's meds. I could finally be _useful_ maybe Al could finally go off to college if I could make enough to support Dad and I. Just maybe...

I pulled into the parking lot. No surprises in me not finding a space. After all, teens and parents alike were here today. Probably the reason I had seen cars parked up the block. I sighed and turned out of the lot to find a place to park, ending up about three blocks away. It was annoying, to say the least. I finally reached the school and got to my homeroom just as the bell rang. My teacher looked at me and asked, "No parking?" I shook my head. "I'll let you off then." I thanked him and found my seat next to my one real friend besides Gil, Ivan.

"That was really close, Matvey." Ivan laughed in his strong Russian accent.

"Well you're the one who didn't remind me to wake up. I had to work overtime last night!" I exclaimed crossly.

Ivan still laughed. It brought a smile to my face, it was nice to be around someone with a sense of humor. With Gil away, Ivan was the only person I could really talk to. "Are you ready for today?" I nodded and Ivan smiled at me, "I think you've worked harder than anyone else to get here." He was probably right. I had overall either B's or A's and mostly good attendance. For working two part time jobs, that was pretty good. Great, really. I was proud of myself. "I'm sure Gilbert would be here if he could." Ivan was pretty good at reading my face. He knew more about me than anyone else.

"I know, and I want him to get a good education, it's okay that he couldn't come." I smiled. Ivan didn't believe me for a second, I could tell, but he said nothing.

* * *

"Matthew Williams." I took a deep breath and walked up the short stairs onto the stage, my graduation robes wafting around my legs. The principal and vice principal stood side by side next to the podium. One held my diploma. I reached out to shake the vice principal's hand. She smiled at me. Then came the principal. As we shook, he handed me my high school diploma. It was mine. It was finally true. I had passed high school. I smiled as the auditorium cheered and stepped off the stage to make room for the next person. As I started back to my seat someone grabbed me from behind and I squeaked in surprise.

"You're awesome, Mattie." I felt tears in my eyes as the arms released me and I turned around to see Gil. I leaped into his open arms and he spun me around, laughing and grinning that grin I loved. We stopped spinning and I buried my face in his chest.

"I thought you weren't coming."

"Ivan and I decided to surprise you." I was happy they had finally agreed on something. It wasn't very fun when your only two friends, for some unknown reason, hated each other. I don't think _they_ even remembered why they hated each other, at this point it was just something they did. "I'll meet you at your house after the ceremony, okay? I doubt we could find each other when this whole crowd is leaving." Gil let me go and went to find a place in the stands while I went back to my seat. I waited anxiously through the rest of the ceremony, I couldn't wait to catch up with Gil back at my house, I hadn't seen him in like... two months. I smiled. So much had happened since that day... getting close to three years ago now. The day he'd asked me to go out with him.

I got a text a while before the ceremony ended, but decided not to check it. When we were all finally allowed to leave, I pulled out my phone and stared at th screen.

'_Alfred- Hey Matthew, guess what? As a graduation present I bought you a new mattress, I know the one you have now is horrible, so no need to thank me! Also, as an added bonus, I'll get rid of your old one for you. From your awesome older brother._'

I broke into a run, trying to get to my car. I had never taken my old journal out from under my mattress. Anything that ever seemed at all secret about my, my brother wanted to know. Finding a journal would be like a gold mine for him, and I had no doubt in my mind that he would read it the second he found it. I cursed as I failed several times to start my car until I finally got it to run and started towards my house. The traffic was horrible. I hit my head repeatedly on the steering wheel. I just needed to get there before Gil did...

* * *

When I reached my house I left my car running in the street. Gil's car was already there and the front door was open. I heard something smash and ran into the house.

"YOU FUCKER!" I found them in the kitchen, rolling around on the floor, Gilbert and my brother. "YOU RAPED MY LITTLE BROTHER YOU SICK BASTARD!" There were shards of glass on the ground from a broken glass that had been knocked off the table, both of them were covered with little cuts and nicks in their clothes and skin, Gil's eye was already starting to bruise. Alfred pinned Gil to the ground and started punching him, over and over. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Gil screamed, trying to free himself.

"Stop it, Alfred!" I ran up and grabbed my brother's arm, pulling him away.

"Let me go, Matthew." There was a dark tone in his voice.

"No." I held firmly to his arm, hugging it to my chest. "Stop hurting him."

"He raped you! He hurt you, so why shouldn't I return the favor?" Alfred growled, glaring at Gilbert, who was still sitting on the floor with his hand to his bleeding nose.

"I think he broke my nose." Gilbert exclaimed.

"You deserved it!" Alfred snapped back.

"Stop it!" I yelled. Alfred looked hurt.

"Why didn't you tell me, Matthew? Why the hell wouldn't you tell me, I'm your brother!"

"This is why!" I gestured to Gil and the mess around the kitchen, "I didn't want people to get hurt!"

"But I-"

"Why the fuck couldn't you just respect my privacy, hunh? Tell me! I didn't _want_ you to be the hero this time, Alfred!"_  
_

My brother yanked his arm away from me and growled, "Fine. Maybe next time I'll just let you suffer on your own. Or maybe even die. Who knows? Happy graduation, Matthew." He spat my name out like acid and stalked away up the stairs.

I sighed then heard Gil behind me, "Matthew... what was he talking about? What were _you_ talking about?"

"He- he was lying-"

Gilbert cut me off, "You seemed to believe him." I hung my head to avoid looking into his eyes. I backed into the wall and slowly slid to the floor. I put my head in my hands and started to sob. I should have guessed that things would fall apart eventually. It would have happened at some point. If Alfred hadn't found the journal, than someone else. I should have come clean to Gil the moment he woke up that Christmas morning, not tried to hide it for over three years. I heard Gilbert shuffle over to me, then a hand on my shoulder. "Tell me, Matthew."

I wiped away my tears and looked up into Gilbert's pleading eyes. "Do you remember the day of the Christmas outing, the first year that you met me?"

"Vaguely."

"It was then that... you... you got drunk and..." I considered lying for a moment, then saw Gil's face. He was truly trying to understand what was going on. "I wrote it in my journal, my head told me I had to, and that's why Alfred could find it and he tried to hurt you because... You raped me." Gilbert was silent. He only stared at me. "...Gilbert?"

"That's why... the blood in the car... your glasses were broken... you were hurt... I did all that? But why didn't you tell me? Why weren't you angry with me? Why _aren't_ you angry with me? Why don't you hate me and never want to see my face again?" He asked.

"Because, even back then, I was in love with you. When you said you couldn't remember what happened I thought I could pretend it had never happened, things could stay the same and you wouldn't get in trouble. I guess I was wrong." I buried my face in his neck and cried. He slowly put his arms around me and held me tight to his chest.

"It's okay, Matthew, it's alright." He muttered, "You're okay and that's all that matters to me." We stayed that way for a long time, with me in his arms and him lending me a shoulder to cry on.

Finally, I had let go of the secret that had been haunting me for the past three and a half years. Gilbert didn't mind that I had kept it a secret from him, everything was alright.

_I backed away from the kitchen and ran out the open front door again. I laughed as I slowed to a walk. Well this is an interesting predicament, things would be pretty interesting if this news ever got out... I left the house behind, no one noticing me arrive or leave. My destination? The police station. It was time for revenge on that white haired bastard._

* * *

**So... Can anybody guess who's POV that last part belonged to? Anyways, this part took a bit longer than usual for me to write, I knew that Alfred had to find out at some point, but beyond that I just kind of winged this chapter. Whatever, tell me what you think? Reviews are always appreciated and thanks to my first reviewer and all the people who've put this story in their favorites and alerts, knowing that people are reading it is what keeps all these updates coming, eh? So yeah. Any flamers will be sold to the Russians, be keeping a look out for the next chapter!  
**


	7. First Time

**Christ, I'm so sorry that I haven't updated this in a while, since this has been on a pretty regular basis so far. My friend who's helping me write this was gone for a few days on vacation and so I decided to wait for their return. So now the next chapter! Hope you all like it.**

* * *

I stayed in his arms for what felt like hours. We were still there when Alfred finally left, glaring at me as he passed the doorway. My dad hadn't come home yet, he wouldn't be home for maybe an hour or two. When I finally raised my head I felt ashamed for some reason at the fact that Gilbert's shirt was damp with my tears, probably my face was all red from crying as well. I wouldn't be surprised. I wiped my eyes with my sleeve and smiled weakly at Gil. "No... No more secrets, okay?" I asked.

"Sure, Mattie." Gil pressed his lips to mine and I pressed back. When we broke apart, he said, "I love you, Matthew."

I knew it was horribly cliche, but I replied, "I love you too." I nuzzled my face into his neck and asked, "Gilbert?"

"Yeah, Mattie?"

"I want... to know how it's supposed to feel. Would you... Would you show me?"

Gilbert's face went red and he pulled away slightly. "Are you sure? I mean, after..."

"It happened three and a half years ago, Gilbert, I'm fine. I'm sure."

"Nobodies going to come home anytime soon, right?" He asked.

"Yeah. Don't worry."

Gilbert laughed, "I'm not the one who should be worrying at this point." I laughed with him and he stood up, offering his hand to me the same way he had done that night, "No one deserves to spend such a special night alone, am I right?" I reached out and took his hand.

* * *

I heard the springs in my bed creak as I slowly laid down. I was nervous, honestly, and maybe I had been wrong about being completely ready for this, but I wasn't lying when I said that I did want this. That was definitely the truth. "You still feel like you want to do this? Is it okay?" I nodded and Gilbert leaned down and kissed me, he gently probed my lips, asking for entrance, I gave it to him. His tongue swirled around my mouth, dancing with my own. He broke away after a moment and grabbed them hem of my shirt to pull it over my head, I raised my arms so he could get it off completely and he took in my bare chest. He sucked on my neck, leaving a red mark, I'm sure. I moaned as he traced my sides with his fingertips from my hips up to my nipples, which he pinched lightly, causing a shiver to run through my body. I put my arms around his neck and pulled him down to kiss me again. I could feel him getting turned on as his hips brushed against mine, causing a sweet, hot friction between us. I moaned into his mouth and he put one hand down to cup my crotch and blushed profusely as he pulled away and started to unzip my pants. When he started to pull them off I unconsciously closed my legs. "Are you sure you want to do this?" Gilbert asked nervously.

"I'm fine! It's just... nerves, you know?" I bit my lip and relaxed my legs again, letting him take my pants the rest of the way off.

"Okay..." Gilbert put his hands on the edge of my boxers and looked to me for permission. I nodded and he slid them off my legs. I gasped as my erection met the air in my room and Gilbert smiled. "All good, Mattie?" I smiled back in response. He palmed my erection and started to stroke it, I groaned lustfully at his touch and felt a tingling feeling in the pit of my stomach. I twined my fingers tightly into the sheets and bucked my hips into his hand. It felt so _good_. I couldn't hold myself back and came all over both of us, clamping my mouth shut so as not to scream. Gilbert had removed his clothes at some point, i don't remember when. I gulped as I saw his cock again. It had been a while and he was well... bigger. "You alright, Matthew?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, Gil."

"This'll be your first time, okay? The last one doesn't count." I nodded my head, "I'm sorry that I don't have any lube, I wasn't really expecting this you know..."

"It's okay, Gilbert." He stuck three fingers in his mouth and sucked on them for a bit until they were coated in saliva, then he leaned in again to kiss me as he slid a finger into my entrance. I stiffened and clenched myself around his digit, I was suddenly afraid again, but I didn't want him to stop.

He put his other hand on top of one of mine and said, "Relax, alright? If you don't it will hurt more." I turned my hand over so I could twine my hand in his and he squeezed it reassuringly. "Just relax." I forced myself to calm down and he started moving the finger in and out of me, it still hurt, but not as badly. "I'm going to put in another one, you ready?" I tightened my grip on his hand as he pushed in a second finger and began to scissor me. "I know it hurts, but it'll hurt worse later if I don't." After a bit he inserted a third finger and then, he pulled out all three. I felt empty without them and whined needfully. "This is it, are you _sure _you're ready, Matthew?"

"I'm ready." I hissed painfully as he started to push inside of me and he stopped.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked worriedly.

"No, I want to do this. It'll get better." He started pushing again and I clutched to his hand like a lifeline. He cupped my cheek in his other hand and tilted my head slightly so he could nibble at my neck, trying to keep my mind off of the pain inside of me until he was fully sheathed. He waited for me to adjust, even though I could tell he wanted to thrust into me, but he was holding back. Finally, I moaned, "Move." and he started out slow, pulling out of me, then pushing back in, adjusting his angle slightly with every thrust until- "AH!" I saw white as he hit a certain spot inside of me and he started to aim for that spot, hitting it every time. He began stroking my cock in time with his thrusts and began to pick up his pace. My room was filled with the sounds of our moaning and skin slapping against skin. It probably didn't last all that long, but it felt like hours in extacy, I never wanted it to end. Finally, Gilbert came inside of me, and myself soon after, then we laid together on my bed, both panting tiredly, but bathing in the afterglow of sex. It was wonderful.

At least, it was wonderful until my dad walked in.

* * *

**Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun. Anyways, so yeah. That just happened. Bet _no one_ ever saw _that_ coming. Because this obviously isn't angsty enough yet. Well then, as said before, reviews are loved and thanks to my two reviews so far! It's not a lot, but reviews make me happy... so yeah! As always, flamers will be sold to the Russians and... sorry if this scene was horrible. I honestly have no idea so yeah. Until next time!**


	8. Fight

"Get the hell out." Dad was fuming, glaring a hole through Gil and I.

"Wait, Dad, you don't understand-" I exclaimed, but he stopped me.

"I understand perfectly fine! Your brother told me everything! Why the hell would you keep something like that a secret from us, Matthew? And _you_," My dad stomped across the room and put his hands around Gilbert's neck. "_You..._ just get out of my house. I never want to see you here again and I don't want you around my son."

Gilbert's eyes narrowed and he growled, "I'm not a teenager anymore, you don't have control over me."

"I don't need you to be a teenager to file a case for rape."

"Unless Matthew consents to that you _have_ no case, so screw off. I'll keep seeing Matthew for as long as he wants me to." I felt his hand grab mine under the covers, he was shaking.

"Then I can file for assault on myself."

"I never touched you." I watched in horror as my dad dragged Gilbert off of the bed and threw him to the ground. Gilbert didn't attack him back and received a kick tot he ribs in return. He clutched at his chest as my dad laughed.

"Aren't you going to fight back? Hurt me like you hurt Matthew? Well?!" There was a crazed light to his eyes.

"Dad, stop it!" I cried, lunging out to grab his arm. He shoved me away and I tripped, hitting my head on the bed frame. "Agh..." I groaned, rubbing the back of my head, my hand came away bloody.

"See what you did now?" Gilbert coughed, pushing himself off the floor to kneel next to me. "You hurt Matthew." He grasped my hands in his and asked, "Are you okay, Mattie?"

"I-I'm fine." I sputtered, still a bit stunned.

Dad stumbled back against the wall, "I didn't... it was your fault. You're at fault here. Get out. GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!" His voice raised in volume until he was yelling and Gilbert slowly stood up. He walked over to gather his clothes and put them all on before walking to the doorway. He turned around and looked at me.

"I'll see you later, Matthew, promise." He smiled at me before Dad slammed the door shut.I could hear Gilbert's retreating footsteps and, finally, the front door opened and closed as he left.

"What the hell were you thinking!? Why wouldn't you tell someone? Why would you do..._that_ just now? Fucking tell me Matthew!" His face was almost purple with rage.

"It's because I love him, Dad. I love him..." I stared at the floor to avoid his eyes.

"Well he doesn't love you back! I can tell! He only wants you for your body, and you just _gave_ it to him! Couldn't you tell after the first time? He doesn't love you!"

"You're wrong!" I yelled, whipping my head up to glare at him, "He does love me!"

"No, you're wrong! And until you realize that, you are banned from leaving this room!"

"You can't do that!"

"Can't I? Just watch me!" He opened my door, walked out, and slammed it shut behind him. I quickly stood up and ran to the door, I tried the knob, but it wouldn't budge, he'd shoved something up against it from the outside.

"Damnit, Dad! Let me out! DAMNIT!" I pounded on the door until my fists were swollen and bruised, but it didn't open. I slid to the floor and put my head in my hands. "Damnit... Gilbert... Come back..."

* * *

There was a newspaper in my room when I woke up the next day. There was an article circled in red pen. I dropped the paper and backed away, "No..."

_Hey, Mattie, thought you'd like to read this. It was interesting for me for sure, I hope it makes you happy and that you've come to your senses!_

_**Gilbert Beilschmidt was arrested late last night, after a worried passerby who wishes their name not be mentioned heard an argument going on at the Jones household. They decided to investigate and heard a serious accusation of rape of a minor by the victim's brother, Alfred Jones, to which the culprit, Gilbert Beilschmidt, readily confessed. The victim wished to be alone to talk things over with the accused and so, Alfred left. Since then the victim, Matthew Jones, hasn't been seen or heard from. If there is any information on his whereabouts, please contact the local police. Unless the victim steps forward, there will be no chance for the accused to be acquitted. Again, if there is anything known on the whereabouts of Matthew Jones(Picture below), please contact your local police** **department.**  
_

"NO!" I screamed, throwing the newspaper against the wall and watching the pages scatter everywhere. "This isn't happening. I'm right fucking here! Gilbert did nothing wrong! Well... I guess he did, but I forgive him! They can't do this!" There were tears on my cheeks, I was crying, why was this happening to me? "Why...?"

* * *

**Well then. Short chapter is short. Anyways, this chapter I kind of just had to pull out of thin air to get from one point to the next so yeah, not super great, I know. It's mostly just a plot device. So... reviews? Always happy to get reviews! Flamers will still be sold to the Russians! Thanks for waiting over my little break, I got grounded for not doing, ironically, my English work... so yeah. Keep watching for the next chapter!**


	9. Captive

"One for Gilbert Beilschmidt." Gilbert sat up and stared at the guard outside his cell.

"Seriously?" He asked.

"Yes, I know, we're all surprised." The guard rolled his eyes sarcastically.

"Is it Matthew?" Gilbert already knew the answer, but he always asked.

"If it were Matthew, you probably wouldn't be in here still now, would you."

Gilbert's hopes fell. "No, I suppose I wouldn't."

"Look kid, " He said while unlocking the cell, "I believe you, you don't really seem like the kidnapping type, but it's not my decision."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it, let's just go." Gilbert held out his wrists for the handcuffs and walked obediently in front of the guard to the visiting rooms. "Who the hell would want to visit me anyways?" Gilbert's question was answered as he walked through the doorway.

"Hey, Gilbert." It was Alfred.

"We have cameras watching you two so if anything happens, this visit is over and _you,_" he pointed to Gilbert, "are going back to your cell."

Both Gilbert and Alfred nodded their consent and the guard left the room, leaving them alone.

"Hi, Alfred." Gilbert sat down in the chair across the table from the other.

"Gilbert, please, you've got to tell me where Matthew is!" Alfred exclaimed.

"How many times do I have to tell you people? I don't know where Matthew is! He was just fine when your dad chased me out of the house! Why does everyone think I took Matthew? Why am I the only suspect? Could it not have been a random kidnapping? Someone else associated with him? Why is it just me?"

Alfred glared angrily at him. "Your the only suspect because they're 99% certain it was you. You had a motive, an opportunity no steady alibi, there's evidence against you, a past crime that you confessed to... Honestly why should they even consider anyone else?"

"Because I didn't do it!" He growled.

"Do you have any proof?" Alfred leaned across the table daringly, "It's your word against my dad's Gilbert. He says neither you nor Matthew were home when he got there. You say he attacked you and kicked you out of the house. Honestly, who's word do you think people are going to believe? The respectable father of two who's devastated at the fact that his son is missing after he already lost his wife, or the convicted rapist?"

"I didn't mean to!" Gilbert yelled, standing up suddenly. There was a clanging as his chair was knocked to the ground.

"Calm down or they'll end this!" Alfred slammed his hands down on the table angrily. Gilbert reluctantly picked up his chair and sat back down, keeping one eye on the camera in the corner of the room. "Listen to me closely, my brother has been missing for a week now, you're the only lead. If you did take him he's probably locked up somewhere dying and you're not helping him! I thought you fucking loved my brother so why won't you help him and just tell us where he is?!"

"Because I don't damned know! Why can't you believe me?"

"If I did believe you, then who would you say took him, hunh?"

"I would say it was either a random kidnapping or..." Gilbert stared off into space, thinking. "Have you been to your dad's house lately?"

"I've been staying with him since Matthew disappeared, why? You aren't suggesting my _dad_ took him, right? because that's a fucking stupid idea."

"Do you have a basement, or an attic?"

"No and no, this is crazy, it's obvious you aren't going to tell us where Mattie is, so I'm leaving." Alfred got up to go, but Gilbert grabbed his arm as he passed.

"Have you been in you brother's room lately?" Alfred stopped in his tracks.

"...I'm listening." he finally said.

"Have you or have you not been in your brother's room since he disappeared?"

"Dad hasn't wanted anyone in Matthew's room, he said it was to preserve his memory, like..." Alfred raised a hand to wipe at his eyes, "Like he'd already accepted he was dead. But he did the same thing when Mom died, no one's been in there since the day she died. You aren't saying he's got Mom cooped up inside that room of hers are you?"

"No. God dammit... just, ask him, won't you? About Matthew's room. You don't even need to touch anything, just see inside. Would that be 'disturbing his memory' as your dad says?"

"I suppose not." Alfred looked unsure of himself.

"Do it Alfred, for Matthew's sake. Even if you don't believe me, isn't it better to be safe than sorry?"

"Whatever. I'll ask." Alfred stood up and started towards the door. "Maybe I'll be seeing you again."

"I hope so."

"Then again..." Alfred opened the door and glared back at the albino, "Maybe not." He closed the door behind him.

* * *

I groggily opened my eyes, having to blink a few times in an attempt to keep the world from going in and out of focus. It didn't work. I closed my eyes again and raised my hand to shield my eyes before trying to open them again. This time, things were not so blurry. I groaned and rolled onto my stomach before attempting to get up. I stumbled once before bracing myself against the wall in an attempt to keep steady as I stood up and opened my eyes. I was still in my room. Still here. I collapsed back to the floor, disheartened. "If I ever get out of this, I'm moving into my own house and I'm never seeing this room again."

"Matthew, are you awake?" I heard the voice from outside my door and kept quiet, wishing for him to go away. "I have breakfast for you." I said nothing. "I'm coming in." I groaned as the door opened and my dad walked in, carrying a plate of food. "Come on, Mattie, talk to me. I made you pancakes, your favorite. I even put maple syrup on them. Come on, pleas,e eat even?"

I turned my head away. "Matthew you haven't said anything in days, what wrong?" What's wrong? WHAT'S WRONG? You're keeping me prisoner for one thing, pretending I'm dead, even Alfred doesn't know I'm here. And for what? Why would you do this to me?

"Matthew... I want you to know that... I love you, okay?" I still wouldn't look at him. "Fine. Don't eat then." He stood up, taking the food with him. "Go back to sleep." He tied the washcloth around my mouth again, the same one he'd been using for however long I'd been here, and shoved me onto my bed. I yelped in pain as the wire attached to my bed frame yanked on my wrist, then curled up as usual on my covers. He opened the door and closed it again behind him. I closed my eyes, my head still hurting, I wondered If I had a concussion? After all, the day he got angry at Gil I suppose I hit my head pretty hard... I drifted off to sleep again, only staying awake long enough to hear a voice that I vaguely recognized saying, "Why were you in Matthew's room?" Strange. I hadn't heard the door. I giggled softly and then I was gone again.

* * *

**I'm so sorry I didn't update when I said I would! Please don't think I quit this or anything! I swear that no matter what, I will finish this story. I'm never told things ahead of time, like literally, day after Christmas:**

**Mom: Are your bags packed?**

**Me: What bags?**

**Mom: Um... your bags for vacation?**

**Me: What vacation?**

**I mean literally, no one ever tells me ANYTHING ahead of time. so I'm so sorry I couldn't update, there was no internet connection, and even if there had been, my parents wouldn't let me bring my computer. -_- so anyways, hopefully updates will come faster after this and anybody who did the polar bear plunge today, kudos to you! Water is cold on the first of January! So yeah, reviews are appreciated and all flamers will be sold to the Russians. Have a nice day- night whatever thing!**


End file.
